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Glass
Slipper Publishing's Weekly Break
Up Support Blog and Newsletter / Breakup Support Column
by Glass
Slipper Publishing (You may join our mailing list by clicking
here)
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Once
the CP (Commitment-Phobic Person) gets you (wins you), and doesn't have
to pursue you anymore, they will start to panic...
16
Warning Signs Your Commitment-Phobic Wants Out
by Glass
Slipper Publishing (You may join our mailing list by clicking
here)
^^^^^
Once
the CP (Commitment-Phobic Person) gets you (wins you), and doesn't have
to pursue you anymore, they will start to panic - it's now time for
them to leave the relationship before you start expecting the next
logical step from them - which is a commitment!
The non-committer will freak out at even the slightest hint or the most
remote reference to marriage. He may have near
panic or anxiety like symptoms if 'the talk' is even hinted at.
Commitmentphobic people often put their relationships into reverse
(commonly called back-pedalling). The back-pedaller consistently breaks
dates. He is the 'no-show' man more often than not. You will start to
feel more and more disappointed and let down every time you make plans
with the CP, as the CP more and more doesn't show up, shows up late,
doesn't call when they say they will, or stops all contact for days -
all while you wait around, dutifully having faith in them and making up
excuses for their behavior. Often times, if you get really agitated or
breakup with the CP, the CP may make huge plans to reconcile with you,
yet only gives it half-hearted attempts. Just as the CP did with the
relationship. You will soon see a pattern of half-hearted attempts in
everything the CP does within the relationship.
The CP...
-
starts backing away
-
gives off mixed messages
-
excludes you from their life -
separating and compartmentalizing 'you' and 'them
(their-life-outside-of-you)'
-
avoids meeting or being with
your friends, family, coworkers, etc
-
makes you feel like you are
last on their list
-
reverses sexual patterns, the
CP usually leaves it all up to you to make all the sexual advances, or
to initiate any sexual contact
-
begins to schedule your time
together, or your together-time starts to become just a 'standing date'
(i.e. Tuesdays lunch 1:00, every other Saturday)
-
avoids staying overnight at
your place, or avoids allowing you to stay overnight at their's. Has
lame excuses as to why
-
treats your simple requests as
if they were controlling and demanding 'orders' or 'commands'. The CP,
especially, doesn't like to be 'expected' to do anything
-
makes you feel like your needs
are never acknowledged or that when you talk to the CP they really
aren't 'hearing' what you are saying, or interested in your thoughts,
feelings, needs, wants, or opinions
-
points out your good qualities
but at the same time seems to be upset when you display them
-
finds lame reasons why they
can't pick you up, visit with you, etc. The CP has legitimized these
excuses and has conveniently laid the blame at your feet...
-
your apartment is too far away
for the CP to have to drive to
-
your showers too hot/cold
-
they have to be to work early
-
your carpet makes them itch
-
your dog hates them
-
they are uncomfortable being in
your neighborhood
-
finds or invents faults in you
and reasons why you two won't make it as a couple
-
makes you feel that there may
be another woman/man involved (and if there is another person involved
with the CP, the CP makes you feel like you are the 'special' one, or
they show remorse and may even promise to not see the other person
again)
-
makes false promises, or
promises that they cannot keep. For example, because of their inability
to commit to ANYTHING, including being or NOT being in a relationship,
if you threaten to leave the CP they may feel frightened of losing you
and make a promise to you that they will change. They may even beg you
for your forgiveness.
-
cannot commit to 'working on
the relationship' and shows obvious uneasiness if you want to talk
about the relationship or discuss relationship issues
The above article is an excerpt
from our ebook, 'Dream Chasers: The CP Addiction'.
This ebook, along with our other ebook 'From Commitment Phobe
to "I Do!"' are sold as a set for only $24 and can be found
at http://commitmentphobia.net
. If you are desperately in love with a man or woman that won't make a
commitment to you, these eBooks are a must have for
you!
Section 2
Today's Inspiration, Poem
or Quote:
"The hardest thing in the world to break free of is our
connection to a commitmentphobic person, simply because they hook you
with the 'maybe'." ~Tigress Luv
"A
relationship with a CP is like a drive on an endless highway, with the
CP always behind the wheel." ~Tigress Luv
Today's
Prayer or Thought:
"Today,
I'll look at the way I feel unloved or uncared for as a result of my
relationship with a CP, and see if I've been rejecting myself even more
than I think they did.
The
more I believe that I am worthy of love and care, the less likely I
will be to believe that my entire existence was based on the acceptance
or rejection of one other person."
Just
a reminder that our Breakup
Support Forums & Community has room for you!
Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://liftedhearts.com
!
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone!
Glass Slipper Publications
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