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Glass
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Up Support Blog and Newsletter / Breakup Support Column
by Glass
Slipper Publishing (You may join our mailing list by clicking
here)
You
can become a fan and discuss these newsletters at our Mending Broken Hearts Page on FaceBook
The
Proper and Correct Way to Break Up With Some One...
THE
PROPER WAY TO BREAK UP..."Ways to End Relationships and
Questions to Ask Before Ending a Relationship "
by Glass
Slipper Publishing (You may join our mailing list by clicking
here)
Ways to End Relationships and Questions to Ask
Before Ending a Relationship
(NOTE: This is the final part of a three-part
series)
Part Three
I usually write my newsletter based for those who have broken up with
their partner and are unhappy with that fact. But many of my
subscribers remain still in unsatisfying relationships but do not know
the proper way to break it off. This week's newsletter is for these
people.
The first thing to know, before you learn the ways to end
relationships, is the preparation of the moment. You do not want to do
anything spur of the moment and without thinking it out thoroughly
first. So there are also questions to ask before ending a relationship!
Like, am I sure I want to do this?
1) Always be prepared for a scene! Do
not break up with them in a public place. Find a place that is quiet
and where you two can be alone. Of all the ways to end relationships,
breaking up in a restaurant or club is the least tactful way
imaginable. Your soon-to-be-ex may cry uncontrollably, beg you to
change your mind, or even make a scene by yelling at you, calling you
names, or throwing a dish of linguine in your lap then following it
with a glass of red wine over your head.
2) Stay sober! If you want to truly
find the best ways to end relationships, being drunk at the time is not
one of them. You must remain level-headed and of sound mind and body.
3) Be respectful! Treat them with
dignity. You are the one inflicting the pain here, so make sure that
you do it in the least hurtful way that you possibly can. If you need
to let yourself be the 'bad one', just to save their ego, by all means
do it. I'm sure you weren't perfect, anyway, right? When searching for
ways to end relationships you have to understand that rejection hurts,
and that by ending the relationship you are rejecting them as a person.
How much damage do you think that will do to their ego and self-esteem?
Quite a lot, so try to soften the blow and treat them with respect and
dignity.
4) Make sure you are SURE you want to end the
relationship! Don't burn your bridges and then decide you
want to do a u-turn and go back. There are many ways to end
relationships but sometimes, there aren't any ways to save it. Most of
the time, once a relationship is over, it is over. Are there any
questions to ask before ending a relationship? Yes, this is a big - and
permanent step - so make sure you have resolved to the fact that the
relationship is over.
5) Don't leave any loose ends. Before
you even attempt to end the relationship make sure that you have all
your belongings back, and that they do to. You do not want to leave the
possibility of any reason for contact open.
6) Watch your timing! You do not want
to destroy someone who is going through a difficult time in their own
life, such as dealing with a family member's illness, cramming for a
final exam, etc. Or break someone's heart when it is about time for
them to celebrate their birthday, or it is just a few days away from
Valentine's Day or Christmas. Don't be a jerk about your timing. It can
wait a few more days or weeks, can't it?
7) State clearly that you are breaking up with
them. Don't hem and haw, don't beat around the bush, and
don't hope that if you just 'taper' off from contact with them that the
relationship will dissolve on its own. As a matter of fact, the less
you are in their life, the more they feel attached to you by longing
for you during your absence. That's one trick people use to get their
ex to come back to them! This one is the least likely to be successful
of all the ways to end relationships. Hoping you two can just drift
apart will most likely backfire on you.
8) Don't point fingers. The
relationship isn't working. You both suck. Period. One of the worse
ways to end relationships is to make a list to the person you are
breaking up with of all their faults, flaws, or where they went wrong.
This gives them the impression that the relationship can be saved if
they just work on fixing those things about them that you don't like.
There is no closure to be had on their part when they hold hope that
they can get back together with you if they can only do 'this'
differently or change 'that' about themselves.
9) Stop all contact. There is no need
for late night booty calls. There is no need to hug them and kiss them
passionately good-bye. Just end the relationship and then stay out of
their life. If you choose to remain friends, that's fine, but only do
so after the feelings of grief or jealousy are over. Wait this period
out before you come in contact with each other again. Don't make a
point of being anywhere where you know they may be, unless you can't
avoid it, such as work or school. But you don't have to go to the same
clubs, or parties, or restaurants as the person you just broke up with.
That is just in bad taste. Let them have time to mend - without you in
the picture.
10) If they contact you, do not respond. Each
time you respond you will only be encouraging them and that will result
in prolonging their heartache, and delaying their breakup recovery. Be
firm, be direct.
11) And lastly, be prepared to doubt your decision
to break up. Especially if they seem to take the breakup
fairly casually, don't bother to try to talk you out of it, or never
attempt to contact you or see you again. This is their way of turning
the rejection back onto you, and it is by the very fact of being
rejected by someone do we lose our ego. This loss of ego makes us feel
like we want them back in our good graces, so we can again feel good
about ourselves. That is why the best selling books are ones on 'how to
win an ex back'...because people cannot stand rejection, and it is even
especially harder if the person who is rejecting you is someone you
look up to, admire, love and respect.
Remember those questions to ask before ending a relationship? I hope
you asked yourself them. Can this relationship be saved before I
breakup? Is there hope to salvage the damage of past wrongs? Is there
outside sources that we might get help as a couple from? Can she/he
change? Can I?
If you still find yourself uneasy with the
thought of initiating a breakup with someone, and need more
encouragement or help, we offer you these 20
ways to leave your lover or go to http://endrelationship.com/Ways_to_break_up/how_to_break_up.php!
AND, if, by chance, someone has broken up with you and you are NOT
happy with this, please visit my http://breakuperaser.com
for some great information on how to win them back and 'erase' your
breakup.
Note: Our breakup forums & support
community has just had a brand-new makeover! We now have all of our
ebooks, as well as some other's, plus hundreds of articles on breaking
up, narcissism, commitmentphobia, codependency and more - plus our
breakup poems galore, daily breakup inspirations, and Breakups Magazine
and, of course, our loving and insightful support forum. Check it out
today at our reduced cost of just $19. http://liftedhearts.com
.
Section
2
Today's
Inspiration, Poem or Quote:
"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you" This
week's quote describes our relationships with narcissistic people!
There is nothing REAL about narcissists, but by the time you realize
this it is usually too late - you are smack-dab-in-the-middle of being
in love with a feigned 'persona'. For more information on breaking up
with a narcissist, please visit http://breakingupwithyournarcissist.com
Today's
Prayer or Thought:
"An
Ode to Breakup Makeovers!
The greatest thing about breakups is that beautiful, magical make-over
we go through. Sometimes it's likened to a rebirth. Once we 'let go' of
the grief and start to see things through rose-colored glasses again,
we take on a whole new beautiful persona.
Nothing is more beneficial to the soul that a good ol' healthy dose of
broken heart. Without a broken heart we would never learn to love
ourselves, to be self-dependent, to get to know who we are, and to stop
and take a look at the 'world' that we never saw before: The
magnificence of a sunrise, the awe of the stars, the smell of a fresh
rain in the pine.
Broken hearts have a way of giving us not only a spiritual rebirth, but
a personal one, too. We change our looks, our lifestyles, sometimes
even our careers and location. And we do it all for ourselves. We don't
have to 'ask' or even 'consider' a partner in our choices. If we want
to paint our bathroom red we can do it! If we want to get plastic
surgery, who cares! If we want to trade the old dependable Dodge in on
a fancy new sports car. So be it! We don't have to answer to anybody!
We can cut our hair, grow a beard, change the color of our contacts,
and even get a nose job. We are reborn! And with this rebirth we come
out better than ever. Thank God for breakups!"
Just
a reminder that our Breakup
Support Forums & Community has room for you!
Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://liftedhearts.com
!
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone!
Glass Slipper Publications
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