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How to Get Your Ex Back -
Even If They Have Pulled Away...
'HOW
TO GET YOUR EX BACK EVEN AFTER THEY PULL AWAY'
by Glass
Slipper Publishing (You may join our mailing list by clicking
here)
Have you ever been in a relationship where
your partner suddenly pulled away without any warning or became distant
and avoiding? In one sad heartbeat, the relationship breaks down and
you're left with no clue as to what went wrong.
If this has happened to you, you know how devastating it is to be left
with unanswered questions and a broken heart. But, don't despair ... it
is still quite possible to get your ex back - even if he or she was the
one who pulled away from you or the relationship.
In situations where your partner has suddenly decided to stop calling
or contacting you, or he or she keeps making excuses why they can't see
you or why they can't make another date with you, it's natural to
become worried.
Naturally, you fear that you're losing your partner, and rightly so.
Unfortunately, not knowing what the right thing is to do, you
immediately begin calling them more or sending text messages,
pressuring them and 'suffocating' them with your intrusiveness and your
'need'. I understand that you are simply trying to get him or her to
respond to you and reassure you that all is 'okay'.
Unfortunately, the more you push for contact, the further your new ex
is likely to retreat. In an effort to re-establish communication with
them, you may actually be harming your chances of getting back together
with your ex.
Here are some simple tips to get your new ex to come back to you, even
if he or she has pulled away.
1. Stop
Contact
Your ex is NOT in a coma! They know full well that you've been calling,
texting or emailing them regularly and they simply have been avoiding
returning your messages. If you stop contacting him or her for a few
days, they'll suddenly wonder what's wrong...did you give up
on them?...did you move on?...did you realize you could do better?
Sometimes people will pull away emotionally and avoid contact simply
because they feel as though they're losing a part of themselves while
they're in a relationship. Men are especially guilty of this! They
usually just need a bit of time to re-establish their own independence
and individuality; many men will come right back to you once they
realize that you really aren't sucking the life out of them! :)
However, if you continue to push him or her for more contact or beg
them to come back to you, then you're not giving them a chance to miss
you or to feel what his or her life is like without you in it. Give
them that opportunity for a few days. Let them feel your absence!
2. Attitude
Think about how you were when the two of you first met. You would have
been fun, bubbly, happy, and excited to see him or her each time you
dated. You men would have been dashing and charming, and you ladies
agreeable and easy to please. Jealousies and insecurities would not
have entered into the relationship at this early stage. Now consider
the last few times you spent time together. Were you both enjoying each
other's company? Were you putting your best foot forward?
Or were you unpleasant, complaining, needy, nagging, raging, accusing,
belittling, boring, arguing or begging him or her to come back to you
or to give you more of their time?
Sometimes people will view a relationship as
becoming too difficult when it's no longer as fun to be in as it once
was. All men love to be around women who make their lives better than
it was before them. And all women love to be around men that make them
feel safe, cherished and wanted. If they suddenly find their life is
too difficult with you in it, or that they are on the 'begging-end' of
a relationship, they may pull away believing that their life will
become easier without you in it.
This doesn't mean you did anything wrong, but it does mean that you may
need to think of another way to discuss certain things that don't
involve arguing, crying or otherwise making you both unhappy.
3.
Self-Esteem
When you've gone through a break-up, you might be tempted to sit at
home and avoid going out. Rejection can play horrible tricks on our
self-esteem. While you might think getting out of the house is the last
thing you may want to do, force yourself to make time to go out with
some of your friends. Get dressed up in a nice outfit that makes you
feel good about yourself, treat yourself to a hair cut or style and go
out on the town.
This step won't necessarily get your ex back on its own, but it will
help to boost your own self-esteem and give you a chance to hang out
with people who care about you. The plus side of this is that raising
your self-esteem is a great way to make it easier for your ex to
recognize the happy-version of you that he or she fell in love with
when you first met.
4. Careful
Contact
Once you've spent a bit of time re-discovering your old self and
perfecting your happy smile - all while allowing them some time to feel
your 'absence' - it's time to make a careful suggestion that you and
your ex catch up over a coffee for a chat. At first, he or she might be
a little reluctant to meet with you, as they may be thinking that
you're just going to cry and beg them to come back to you. This can be
an upsetting thought for many exes, as they'll understand that the
breakup was their doing and therefore it's also their fault that you're
unhappy, so you must be careful to be as casual, upbeat and cheery as
possible - not mentioning the breakup or the relationship at all.
Remember the 'K.I.S.S.' tactic! KISS = Keep It Simple, Stupid!
So, when you do contact him or her, suggest a casual, public place to
meet. This will let them know right away that it's NOT going to be a
stressful meeting (as you're less likely to argue or make a scene in
public) and so they'll be more likely to accept.
When you get to your date, make a point of being happy and bubbly and
to carry on casual and friendly conversations about nothing in
particular. Talk about work, talk about hobbies or interests, ask about
his or her recent activities, and avoid talking about the
relationship at this point. K.I.S.S.
You should find that if you've followed these steps to get your ex
back, they'll soon be sitting opposite you in a public place looking at
the happy, fun person they fell in love with. This can usually be the
nudge they may need to realize exactly what it was about you they fell
in love with, and why they want you back in their life once again.
Section 2
Today's Inspiration, Poem
or Quote:
"When life hands you lemons simply take a trip back to the store."
~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru
Today's
Prayer or Thought:
"Just
for Today I will let go and let life lead me where it may. I will stop
trying to control my destiny and realize that only in letting go of my
controlling ways can I be truly free to accept things that come my way,
and find the peace and tranquility that comes with such acceptance.
Just for today I will let the day take me where it may."
Just
a reminder that our Breakup
Support Forums & Community has room for you!
Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://liftedhearts.com
!
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone!
Glass Slipper Publications
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