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Up Support Blog and Newsletter / Breakup Support Column
by Glass
Slipper Publishing (You may join our mailing list by clicking
here)
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When
a Man Treats a Woman Well and STILL He Gets Dumped...
'A
MAN AND HIS BREAKUP'
by Glass
Slipper Publishing (You may join our mailing list by clicking
here)
When a Man Treats a Woman Well - and He STILL Gets
Dumped!
Is your breakup making you fell insane? Do you
panic if you have to go out in public? Does the thought of visiting
family and friends make you want to hurl? Don't worry - a man's ego can
take a huge nose-dive after a woman has broken up with him. It is so
natural to suffer an extreme loss of self-esteem after a breakup. After
all, a breakup is based on a rejection from someone you admired and
respected - and when someone you think is grand 'rejects' you, and you
value their opinions - then, basically, you end up rejecting yourself,
too. Don't worry, your esteem and self-confidence WILL return.
As for breakups and social anxiety, it
sometimes goes hand-in-hand with rejection, and I can understand that.
When you feel rejected yourself you may feel anxiety at the thought of
being in public situations where you are exposed to the rejection
of others. You feel open, vulnerable, and - like I said -
EXPOSED. TRANSLATION: SOCIAL ANXIETY. Don't worry! This, too, shall
pass. (Hint: when you feel this way just rub and massage your palms or
the inside of your wrists - warm them up...it is almost impossible to
feel anxiety while you have warm palms - try it right now. See?)
If it gets to the point where you only feel safe cocooning in your own
home with doors shut tight and drapes pulled - then I would say it's
something to worry about. But a small amount of social anxiety after a
breakup is normal. And, to make you feel better about it, realize this:
EVERY person out there feels some kind of inner fear of being exposed
and found out for all the horrors that they imagine
themselves to have. That's one of things that separate us
from animals - our ability to think, rationalize, and use logic.
However, in the case of social anxiety we often rationalize and use our
logic in an inappropriate way. Oh, argh, huh?
Many men find that they treated their women great and still got the
shaft. Is it possible to be TOO attentive to a woman? If you say 'yes'
I think you have hit the nail right on the head. You could have been
TOO available to her. If she didn't have to work for your love and
attention then there is a good chance that boredom in the relationship
(and with you) had probably consumed her. There were no thrills, no
excitement, no adrenaline rush - something she feels she should have
felt in a passionate relationship. Women are definitely stirred by the
excitement of a man who makes her work for his attention.
Yes, maybe in retrospect you now see how you should have been somewhat
less available ... somewhat less compliant or less of a rescuer ...
somewhat more elusive or evasive. Something that made her work for you,
and that took her mind off of herself and made her dwell on you. Think
about this probability for a minute - the people whom you have dated in
the past that were really into themselves are probably the ones you
thought about all of the time - and became the most attached
to, but the women that were totally into you and appeared to
have no life of their own were probably the ones you didn't think about
too often, or feel that attached to or in need of.
It is a simple fact that the one who invest the least in a relationship
is the one who has the most power over their partner.
For more information read Why Women Love Bastards..(http://whywomenlovebastards.com)
Section 2
Today's Inspiration, Poem
or Quote:
"Yearn for where you want to go, not for where you have already been:
Your future will be better, your days will be brighter, and your nights
will be filled with the glorious heavens."
~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru
Today's
Prayer or Thought:
"No
matter what happens in my day, I'll try to remember that nothing last
forever. If some good should come of my day I will embrace the joy
close to my heart and feel its glory. If some bad should come of my
day, I'll try to let it slide right by me and remember that, "this,
too, shall pass".
Today, before acting on temptation I'll stop and think first, and avoid
doing something I might later regret. I'll find healthy alternatives to
bad emotions. I'll touch another life in a positive way.
Today I'll try to remember that this day is just for me, and I will
never have the opportunity again to shape this day into one that will
be forever a beautiful memory "
Just
a reminder that our Breakup
Support Forums & Community has room for you!
Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://liftedhearts.com
!
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone!
Glass Slipper Publications
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