-
You let one
rip in your sleep and don't care if he hears.
-
Talking dirty
in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket.
-
Chivalry's as
dead as the door he lets slam in your face.
-
PMS lasts all
month.
-
Your jumbo box
of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display.
-
"Honey, what
are you thinking?" is now, "Are you finished yet?!"
-
He yawns when
you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work.
-
Those frilly,
lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable.
-
Two weeks no
orgasm.
-
Three weeks no
orgasm ... and you still don't miss it.
-
When he lends
you five bucks, he expects it back.
-
You'd rather
spend quality time with your vibrator.
-
The way he
breathes is getting on your nerves.
-
Spouse using
your toothbrush to scrub tile grout.
-
Candlelight
dinners now illuminated by sticks of dynamite.
-
Spouse has
gone from moaning while making love to moaning ABOUT making love.
-
Victoria's
Secret? More like K-Mart's Special.
-
The only thigh
you see on your anniversary is at KFC.
-
Morning breath
no longer gives you that same thrill.
-
Husband's
casual suggestions to "try swinging" are growing alarmingly frequent.
-
Your husband
wants to adopt a 17 year-old waitress from Hooters.
-
A romantic
Saturday night at home now includes Dr.Quinn, Medicine Woman.
-
Husband
keeping list of things he'll do after you're finally dead.
-
Request for
sex now gets him $100 and a ticket to Vegas.
